


Immortality Has It's Perks

by SerinaKuro



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor finds you interesting, F/M, Gavin is a dick and always will be, Hank is papa, Markus is real big bro energy, North is just North she protective bird, Other, a grim reaper type ability or well shit to do with shadows, and emotional when people show they care, but he might just be that dick kind of friend in the end idk, gruff dad to everyone is best, lil crazy don't hurt nothin, reader is smarter than she lets on, smiles mostly be fake, you aren't the one to mess with when your mask falls, you're far from normal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerinaKuro/pseuds/SerinaKuro
Summary: You made a deal with a devil having one goal in mind: to experience how far mankind would go with technology. It had never been enough with your interest...but you never meant to fall for an android.Trouble was coming and it's called love.
Relationships: Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Reader
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't make deals with devils, it always has prices and are you really willing to pay it in the long run? 
> 
> Very slow updates to be expected!

It was 2019 and you had just turned 26 years old, celebrated it alone as your siblings were all busy with their families. You still got the text messages wishing you a good birthday which stopped bothering you after some years. The kindness was there and that's enough.

At the moment the couch was your safety place where you bundled up while staring at the movie on screen. Something felt broken inside for a long time, and in this moment you foolishly attempted to try and understand it. Why was the feeling there? How could you go about fixing it? Life was boring wasn't it? Thinking far too deep into it would only take one down the horrible rabbit hole.

In that moment you decided to shut the movie off and switch to a game you loved to replay, Kingdom Hearts 3. The story was absolutely mind blowing and though you had wished Kairi had a better script you can appreciate this for what it is as well. "I've got three days off might as well rot my brain." To be honest you were excited, an addicting emotion to say the least when it comes to human technology. These thoughts got you curious; how far could the human race go with technology? It was a raw craving you had to your very core that you'd give up anything to see.

More and more the monster clawed to the surface as if trying to breath. "I'd give my soul to watch how far humanity could go with technology. It's a shame that so little happens in my short lifespan." What this little soul wouldn't give to keep watch over the many games and systems that could be created, buildings that grew more high tech, how far the boundaries could be pushed. This nerdy girl would be nothing but ecstatic to dive into the addiction of an overseer.

Already through the first half of the beginning you'd spaced out mostly so decide to pause the game to grab some snacks. Off the couch you'd sadly woken your cat up when bumping into the bag of hard food and he races over to rub along your leg. "Ah, sorry bud for waking you. How about a snack?" He'd already been fed and more would be bad since it's late. From the fridge you grab some wet cat food mix you'd whipped up finding the recipe healthier for your little friend in portions along with the hard food mainly sustaining the little bugger monthly. 

"Okay okay stop nudging me I'm going." When you look over you spot your cat had already been sitting patiently at his bowl with his black tail coiled around it. 

You felt a cold chill because something had been nudging you a moment ago. If not him then what the fuck?

(E/C) hues slowly turn to see another odd looking feline there with twin tails looking up at you, they seemed to have heterochromia eyes one blue and the other a bright blue. Very mesmerizing to see that's for sure, but you were also sure that you'd only adopted one cat for this apartment. Where did they come from?

"You want immortality?" A deep voice pipped up.

You must've spaced out much harder than you remembered if cats were now talking. It was enough of a shock to scare you into backing away hitting your side on the counter causing you to flinch and hold the spot. Eyes stare down at the black feline as it's twin tails twitched into a sway you would define as mischievous. 

With your reaction the animal deemed it wise to take a few steps away and sit so you could better observe. "I asked you a question human, or are you missing a few chromosomes?" He scoffed already growing irritable at even thinking of making a deal with such a person. 

Right..

Question. What was it? You go into thinking on what the actual reason was and give a small reply. "About immortality? Yeah, we aren't in some show where a fairy grants ludicrous requests." You give a small shrug trying to act more calm than you actually were. If someone saw this they'd think you were crazy for talking to some cat in your kitchen which must be true. 

A sound like kissing ones teeth caught your attention and you look back to the dark cat who if possible seemed upset. "Not some dumb fairy I'm a demon, y'know with horns and shit?" He spoke almost proudly but that was masked by the irritation. 

"I don't see a demon with horns, I see a cute twin tailed cat that's talking to me and holy shit I need to sit down." You were starting to feel dizzy just as he was upset this conversation wasn't going anywhere. Now he's pretty sure you aren't a stupid human more so this is a lot for one person to take in and despite understanding this concept after doing it for thousands of years, he only grew bored of having to do the same song and dance constantly. 

Once you were seated your actual cat joined you at your side curling up to take a nap. Your hand strokes over the felines head as you think over the wish you'd clearly desired to desperately that it seemingly summoned a demon, some type of devil to come take your soul. You were no innocent or naive human you knew a simple idea of how this goes. 

An idea comes to mind. "What are the loopholes? I'm not getting something this easy for nothing." This is how it goes in many games and stories you've read, and or played. Always a catch hidden in the fine print of the deals.

Amused the demon tilts it's head to the side as it's natural smile in that form grows making you quite uncomfortable. "What a smart human you are, must be all the brain rotting games you play." Okay ow that hurt..it's the truth but still ow you little furball. 

He continued. "You are giving up something important that can't really be replaced. So if anything you'll feel a lack of some emotions here and there but it won't take away from what you actually care for. You wanted the ability to be an overseer and experience advanced tech right?" You gave him a nod. "Then that's what I'll do. You'll watch the world rot and live on. Think you can handle that burden? Making bonds, only to have to up and leave before people get suspicious?"

Yeah, kind of expected things to go like that. When you really thought about it did you want to watch your family die off one by one until you couldn't even go to the funerals because they would question why you haven't aged? You'd miss many things. At the same time you were selfish and had been alone a lot. 

They were out living their lives.

And you were making the choices for your own.

The space out had ended in a slight foggy mindset which was normal considering you had depression problems, a grey world was pretty normal. Hence the dependency on technology to make you feel better. "I want a power to be able to defend myself if I get into trouble as well." A defensive item to tack on just in case. 

With advanced stuff you never could be too prepared on the future. 

He was laughing at you.

Fucking laughing, and it sent chills down your spine at how eerie it sounded. Imagine a cat doing all this it was plain horrid. Then again from a warped view could be interesting. Oh, yup you were shutting part of your emotions down to mentally cope with this. "Is it a deal or not?" You ask much more firm that you meant to.

His laughter stopped as he walked closer to you. "It's a deal. Your soul in exchange for immortality, youth, and a power to defend with. What would you like?" Make his job easier to not pick at random because there are multitudes of powers one could chose from. 

Now that stumped you. What ability would you like? There are so many good ones that you've sen in shows but none that suit you. Eyes wander around the room to maybe get an idea until you caught part of your reflection in the dark television. Such darkness there. You weren't a bad person just dealt a hard hand in life to deal with. 

The request fell from your lips without thinking too much on it, it's what you deemed fitting. 

He was laughing again already starting to like you more and more. "Deal! Don't regret your choice!" With that you saw a flash of white and fell into slumber hearing his voice as you descended into darkness of slumber. "If you have to summon me again, you'll know how."

===

You woke the next day with a start looking over yourself to see if anything had changed. Nothing. You saw nothing that stood out so assumed it was a strange dream, yet the disappointment that flooded in at the idea was painful. The desperate wish for something to change. Why does your mind play tricks on you?

"Whatever. I'm off today and tomorrow might as well deal with it by playing some more games." Chalking it up to that decision you go to the bathroom to freshen up when spotting something black in the mirror. Backtracking to look again there was a black ring around your throat that barely touched right where it was supposed to right beneath your throat, in that little spaced was a star which had several decorations beneath it. Looked like a collar of some sort. 

When trying to clean it off with a washcloth nothing happened. "Well shit."

Either last night happened or you got real drunk and went out for this as a tattoo. You went with the former. 

What now?

Behind you the wall began to shift ever slightly in darkness leaving you to smile as you now remembered something else. "Guess I've got some training to do. Let's have some fun playing this game."


	2. Ever Innocent Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've mastered what you needed in order to get by and blend in enough. It's like a game.

So many years passed. 

Endlessly it felt like things were going too quickly for you to fully enjoy that wish you wished for. Still, technology was addicting the more advanced that it got. You got to the point where you needed to know how some of your favorite ones worked inside and out so in a small depressed insanity broke it apart to learn how to put it together.

Nothing has changed much in your looks, if anything the demon was right about many things. It's now about twenty years later with no changes, people do get suspicious but you managed to at least pacify your siblings when they had asked questions. 

Sometimes your emotions were rotten just as your mind had been from playing so many games or indulging in learning about how far humans would go with technology. Always watching for what's new to come. Other times you were yourself just a simple nerd who could enjoy things outside of that stuff. There sadly were times your mind had a sick twist to it after training with that power it took something out of you.

New instincts needed to control it.

Besides the berserk bursts as you call them things were fairly okay. You switched up jobs when you heard that there was going to be a new android sent to the police station. How did you get this information? Well you have your ways after working with this 'gift' for so long. 

You were an assistant to Hank Anderson, though it was only part time that's fine you had other ways to pay for your apartment. How? Well again tricks for living like this for the last twenty years. Might have involved killing someone but with no evidence who would care? The incident only needed to happen once, money isn't an issue anymore. 

Did you still take meds for certain stuff? Yeah, it made you feel like you kept some of your normalcy even if it doesn't work completely. Currently about a month or more into the job you got in before Hank did and would organize the desk area he would mess up daily, send him some files that were prepped for reading today on the new android homicide cases, and other side work. 

By the time the drunk man came in from his late night drinking you had walked up with a fresh cup of freshly brewed coffee. "Shit (Y/N), why are you good at this?" He questioned this morning to which you just shrug smiling.

There was something you wanted so you'd behave to get it. That means being a good worker so you could be at the top of the list.

"You have ten new cases of people reporting suspicion of their androids. Did you need anything else sir?" You ask politely. He waved a hand signalling you to go sit down. Oddly enough he may be rough around the edges but the Lieutenant reminded you of your father who had passed away when you were in your late teens. 

Your desk wasn't the one across from his despite him insisting you move it, no it was across the way. Sadly the office prick Gavin had better sights of you and took to bothering you when he had the time. Other than that it was oddly enjoyable at this place since the police got the most advanced tech for solving cases you were practically drooling the first week. Should have thought about this sooner. 

Some may ask why not be a scientist instead of hopping around, well because those people got too curious. You didn't trust that they wouldn't catch something and try to corner you. Plus, you weren't smart enough for that kind of thing your knowledge was for your own selfish stuff.

That said you got back to organizing the papers Hank would send in report wise and took a few calls. By the end of the day you packed up to go once the man had his last cup of the night. "I'll be heading home now sir." A habit at this point. One of your jobs was working to help recruit people for the air force but it was real short as the moment you were asked you dipped, another at a cafe had a boss that required to be called 'sir' and that lasted awhile since the pay was good, but the minute people got suspicious you left.

He wasn't getting anywhere with the cases so decided to call it a night as well. "Thanks, good work today. C'mon I'll walk ya out." He grabbed his coat and headed out chatting with you on the way. "Do you normally walk home at night?" You nod. "Jesus fuckin' christ (Y/N) that's not safe. You're not worried that something may happen? Detroit ain't like how it used to be." A shrug is given as your response.

A smile tugged at your lips as you remember the last person who tried to attack you on the way home from work. They may never leave the hospital with their claims of shadows being alive. It was twisted just like your mind these days, but you wished--no wanted to feel normal sometimes so tried not to act like that as much as possible. These powers, these new feelings were not who you are completely. 

What had snapped you out the thought was your boss calling your name a few times getting you to blink a few times before turning to him. "Hm? Sorry sir what was that?" A bad habit was spacing out as well still made you feel normal. 

"I asked if you wanted a ride home space cadet." He rolled his eyes and points to his old car which you found similar to the ones your father used to like. Bad memories, stop that. You were over it already. 

You opened your mouth to deny but he cut you off. "Yeah, not a request to turn down from your boss. Get in it's freezing tonight, I'm driving you back home so I can have a clean conscious." A part of you wanted to grumble about how it wasn't any of his business, but you settled for pouting and going to the car to get in. 

He curses like a sailor when he gets in complaining about the snow, but you felt like no matter the weather he would complain. Your father was a gentler soul so didn't curse as often but Hank had his moments of acting fatherly, it happened when he briefly mentioned his son a few days ago and said that you had a few similar quirks. 

Since then he's been looking out for you more.

Gavin got a threat the next day on leaving you be which was a nice change. Today he only stared from afar to try and get under your skin.

In the car he blasted metal music much to your annoyance. Once he saw your expression he had turned it down to better talk over. "So, why you workin' at the DPD as an assistant? Something for college?" Right, you still looked like a twenty five year old. 

"Nah, I just like helping out kind of. You guys always have something going on and it's interesting to watch." That last part was a slip up, but you hoped you played it off as casual. It wasn't a full lie. The DPD did have interesting stuff going on almost every day. Since you were his assistant you could stand in the observing room to watch him work.

At first there was a question of why, and you twisted your words to make it seem like you were observing to assist your boss in making his life easier. You after all handle lots of his paperwork and calls. That alone was enough to get Hank on board and let you stay. People were becoming easy to manipulate. Was this another side-effect of giving up your soul? The missing emotions sometimes, and now finding humanity boring.

You look outside giving him directions to your apartment complex it wasn't overly fancy but it's in a nice neighborhood so you don't have any unwanted trouble. About a twenty minute walk to the station. "Well shit you live here? Must cost quite the pocket change, how do you afford this on a part time?" He was analyzing you. 

"Family left money behind when they died." That tended to work. 

Indeed it does the trick but he still speaks up. "Must've been a hell of a nest egg." You only smile at that as you get out. "Goodnight sir." 

Hank rolls down the window to lean over. "Hey, you can stop with the 'sir' stuff. Reminds me too much of the old days, just call me Hank." 

You really do get the kind vibes of your father from him. "Sure, see you tomorrow Hank. Don't drink too much cause you'll have a new stack of files to read." He waved it off with a grumble and told you to stop nagging him. That made you laugh and you wave as he drives off. Okay so the job was one of the better ones you've had. 

Upstairs you were greeted by the meowing of your old cat who had been the only one to know the secret. You take off your scarf revealing the black collar of a demon mark and greet him. "Hey bud, you hungry?"

A loud meow was the answer gaining a light laugh. Yeah, this is where you felt the most normal in the company of your cat. 

"I have some new stuff to tell you about work today."


	3. New Addictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being curious meant bad news for others.

Today felt different. 

You knew that might have something to do with the intuition you got with this power, but as you walked in like normal to get to work prepping Hank's stuff for the day you saw someone sitting in his desk. Slightly peeved that they were there you walked up to speak to them about moving. 

As you got closer you started to notice some features. Sleek clean cut outfit with glowing band around the arm, android logo printed on the back, and as you walked around the side you noticed the LED light. 

You were rather happy by the time you faced the android. 

He was the latest most advanced thing humanity has come up with and you were going to be around them daily. You wanted to pick at his brain immediately like a video game. He was a new puzzle. "Do you need something?" You asked softly.

"Yes, I'm waiting for Lieutenant Anderson. I'm Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife." He introduced himself while scanning your face. He would get your legal age and be surprised that you were in your forties considering how young you looked. "You're his assistant right?"

A smile tugged at your lips again at how advanced he was. "You scanned my facial features and looked up a background check?" It didn't make you happy but there was nothing to worry about just yet. 

"Only the basic information it would be an invasion of privacy to do a full background check." Connor informs while following up with a tilt of his head. He was curious. "You do look young for your age."

You placed your hand on your cheek and smile. "Yeah, it's a cream I use it does wonders to help the skin stay young." A lie, and you could almost feel him catching on before dismissing it. His main objective was to find the Lieutenant. 

As usual you start to go through the routine of cleaning up the area, but felt like as it got closer to the time frame he'd normally show up nothing happened. Must've been a bad night. "I don't think he's going to show up today. Try some of the bars in town, here I'll write them down for you." 

A paper was torn from your planner after the information was listed and handed off to Connor. "Try not to be to overbearing for him. He's got a lot on his shoulders." A small bit of advice for the new kid. He thanked you and was on his way while you stay behind to go over some papers, and organizing. The job was part time so you started whenever they scheduled you and left around six hours later.

Day over it was already night as you'd stayed later accidentally spacing out again.

From your seat you had risen to leave only to see Hank come back in with an arrested android that looked battered. While you understood the feeling of pity there it had been swallowed up fast. They were interesting because they were apart of humanities technology. You support more of that. 

"(Y/N), you might want to sit in on this one. I could use a second opinion from someone who knows about all this fancy shit." Hank called to you when seeing you stand from your chair. 

Nothing was really waiting at home besides your cat and little guy could wait a few minutes to be fed. These never took too long. Once entering the room you saw Gavin leaning against the wall sneering at you the minute you were invited in. "What the fuck is she doing here again? I fail to see how this dressed up maid could be of any help!" 

Yeah, expected. His pride must be hurt something fierce if your presence alone does something. "Wow, you're jealous Hank asked for my help. Sad 'dad' doesn't give you attention?" You taunted without emotion earning a snarl from said prick who walks up on you. To your surprise Connor stepped inbetween instead of Hank. "This won't help solve the case," was all he said. 

To Hank it was like watching three kids fight. 

He rose deeming it his turn to take a crack at trying to get this thing to confess. "All you little shits behave while I work." With that the door closed shut and you cross your arms taking a seat where he'd been. This was interesting. Your addictive nature kicked in and you analyzed everything like some game. 

"He won't talk to a human." That's all you had to say on that. 

It was clear that something happened so you pulled up the file for yourself and read it over not bothered by the blood or dead body. With how old it was probably smelled, wow glad you didn't have to go out on the field like that.

Again, what had taken you out your spaced out state was Connor calling your name a few times leading to him placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. When it brushed against your scarf you flinched away a little. "Hm?" (E/C) hues look up shutting the file. 

He took notice. "What did you mean by it won't talk to humans?" 

Now you'd noticed that part having forgot people didn't refer to the android by their preferred gender. To people they were an 'it' wow it's gonna be funny when they take over one day just like the movies. Didn't humanity see that the more advanced they got the more they were creating beings smarter than the creator themselves.

How boring.

Oops, mental slip up again gotta act normal. 

"Right, um...the posture and overall shock of the incident tells me they don't very well trust humans as they are the one that's hurt them. You'd probably have a better chance being the same species. Comfort in facing something you think might empathize." You caught sight of the slight widen of his brown doe eyes. 

He was impressed at the conclusion you got from just looking at the android once and the file a glance over. Were you really not a detective? Why were you an assistant? Still, there was something distant about you. Connor had his suspicions but right now solving this case took full priority. 

For only a moment you saw his LED flicker yellow then back to that calm blue you liked. He had a rushing thought of something, and you felt it had something to do with yourself. Back to watching the interrogation you saw Hank give up and leave so you crossed your legs and smile when he came back. "My guess was right." 

"What guess? You in here betting on me failing?" He shot you a glare with no malice and scoots you out his seat planting himself right back down. "So, what do you think?" 

"I think--" cut off when Gavin butts in you just roll your eyes. "Why not just trash the thing? Rough it up." He's an idiot they don't feel pain and would only self destruct if too much stress is applied. 

Connor spoke up for your thoughts thank goodness. "Androids don't feel pain and androids self destruct when under too much stress." 

He was a sweetheart. You appreciated him a lot more for that part. "Connor should go in and try. I believe that he can get the job done better than you Gavin." He reacted faster than expected grabbing your scarf and tugging it up. You panicked when the mark was slightly visible sparking a certain emotion you hadn't felt in awhile. Fear. You didn't know why but you felt you shouldn't show this to people you don't trust. 

"Let me go!" In your frazzled state your power flickered to life only for a split second but Hank grabbed Gavin before you could shout again and shoved him against the wall who's shadows had calmed back to their neutral nature. You hoped no one saw. By the stars you really did. 

The dark blue scarf was adjusted to once more hide the mark better before anyone could see. It was best that no one see. Connor had taken to staring at you and your body froze. If he wanted to ask you something there was nothing said, you all got back to the matter at hand. 

"Hank let it go, this is more important to deal with." When he didn't move you walk over and place a hand on his back to calm him. He was a papa bear deep down and you being an odd reminder of his lost child didn't help. Apparently you spacing out was similar and your wide curiosity. "C'mon Hank."

He reluctantly let go and goes back to his seat glaring at the two way glass. 

You were glad that it wasn't a big deal or at least that it didn't escalate. "Connor you're up." That was enough to get him going, he fixed his tie and went into action taking the case file and heading to the interrogation room. 

This would be a treat to watch. 

He tried the gentler approach to try and get the android to talk you observed it as the usual good cop. When that didn't get the job done it was amusing to see him slide the file over for the other to see and raise his voice. "He's inducing stress to help get the answers." 

"Didn't you say that would make it kill itself?" Gavin chimed in to which you nod lightly. Seems that pricks brain does absorb beneficial information. "Then what the fuck is it doing?" He goes on pushing off the wall looking like he may storm the interrogation. 

You raise a hand gesturing him to stop. "If enough is induced then this may work. Connor is an android he must be smart enough to know when to let up, he was built for this kind of job so wait and watch until you are needed." In the back you had completely forgotten Gavin's partner was in the room. For a moment you spare them a glance and smile without much emotion. "You don't do anything either." 

That seemed to scare them into nodding a few times. Oops, a little bit of that berserk switch flipped. 

It only took a second for you to fix your aura when Hank looked at you curious on why you were acting this way. You responded. "I kind of wanna see how Cyberlife's top tier technology works." You admit while fiddling with some lint on your sleeve to hopefully look a little bashful. That worked enough for him and he shrugged. 

"You and your interest in androids and technology, it gets fuckin' weird sometimes." And that's all he had to say on it. 

Sadly you'd missed some of how Connor got part of the way through his way of interrogating the android but it was right as he got the other to speak. You shot Gavin a 'told you so' look feeling pretty confident in your skills that serve as an addiction to everything advanced tech." You doubt Gavin knew how to take apart computers and put them back together, let alone a game console. 

What you could gather as this whole thing went on for much longer than it should have is that the android was abused in various ways, snapped when it'd had enough, and killed that sick pig. You honestly saw nothing but self defense but people don't really tend to empathize with something they created. 

You all rise to go inside and take care of handcuffing him and you strut out past Gavin still cocky about being right about Connor having been the best choice for this. However once you all got in the room it didn't feel right. Dammit you hated those instincts sometimes. 

Chris tried to get them to get up and when they didn't Gavin spoke up. "Try harder, get that thing out of here!" 

Oh fucking great he couldn't keep his mouth shut. It all happened so fast, the culpret grabbed the gun from Chris's holster and points it at Connor shooting and then shoots himself in the head. You being the idiot you are and addict to this new partner shoved him slightly to the side so the bullet found its home in your right shoulder. 

The pain was dull and throbbed but nothing too painful. Shit you gotta get out of here. Last thing you wanted was for these people to figure it out and you have to leave when you just got a taste of the new tech that was sent by Cyberlife. Curse your addiction to how far humanity could push things with technology.

Also damn now was not the time to space out. Hank had grabbed your shoulders to get your attention he looked freaked out. Oh right you were shot. Wow that's dumb to forget probably cause it doesn't hurt as bad. "I-I'm fine really!"

You tried to get away but were pulled back. "No the fuck you're not! You were shot for fucks sake! Call an ambulance Connor, we're taking her to the hospital." He was so frazzled you took note that sentence made no sense. Why call an ambulance if they were just gonna drive you to the hospital anyways. 

As the healing factor started to take place you panicked. "Okay! Drive me to the hospital let's go!" The boys were rushed out while you placed a hand over the wound to hide it away from others not phased by the warm liquid sliding between your fingers. It reminded you that you weren't some monster, at least that was comforting.

The monster in the shadows didn't devour the human inside. 

What fun to know. Oh, the car seemed a lot closer today than usual or did you space out again until getting to the car. 

Once all in you jumped at how fast Hank drove. "How are you so fucking calm about this!?" 

A little more pressure is placed on the wound as you lean against the door. "High pain tolerance." Not a lie. When you trained twenty years ago it was a lot of pain to get used to that kind of power. It tested you in various ways.

With that you shut your eyes wishing to rest having wanted to focus on fighting the healing factor in this immortal body. This job is something you wished to keep. It had started to work when Connor shook you awake again. "Please do not shut your eyes, you might slip into shock." He informed you. 

That peeved you some. 

He was lucky he was so interesting otherwise you'd have a few choice words to say. 

So for five minutes or less than you kept your eyes away trying to focus with this throbbing shoulder that was home to a bullet. When making it to the ER you open your door to step out but were picked up by the very same android you had wanted to know about. Surprised to say the least he rushed behind the Lieutenant to the front. 

"Out the fucking way! Hey yeah we need a doc now she was shot!" Hank hurriedly demanded to the lady. With that you blocked out the rest of the world like a blur. Some men came with a stretch and for once you expected this to happen, they gave you anesthesia and before falling into the familiar darkness you hoped they worked quick.

Last thing you'd need is to mess with files...again.

You were rather smart at this point thanks to this sick curiosity.

Within the dark dreams your demons greet you with a smile to which you return. It was a home in itself. 

====

Awake later to the sound of a machine beeping you look around the room to see what state they'd left you in. Your shoulder didn't hurt but was still bandaged. Humor was found in the fact that they gave you an IV and you rip it out watching as the small wound was patched up, the blanket was used to wipe away the left behind blood. 

A nurse came in to check on you to which you greeted politely as practiced. "Looks like you're doing well. Please don't rip your IV out, even if it's empty we need to make sure it doesn't scrape against your veins and cause bruising." You gave a nod. 

"It was empty when I woke up guess my foggy mind deemed it okay." A believable lie. You'd heard stories of people in half asleep states ripping cords out. They should be used to it. "How long have I been out?" 

"A few days or so. You lost a lot of blood so we'll keep you for a check up and if all looks good we'll discharge you." She gave a neutral smile while writing notes. "Did you have anyone you'd like me to call?" 

There wasn't anyone.

Oh shit your cat!

You forgot to feed him!

That alone was enough to make the heart monitor spike right as Hank walked in for a visit. Hearing the commotion of the nurse trying to calm you down from whatever shock happened he walks over. "What's going on? What the fuck happened?" He demanded.

"M-My cat! I forgot to feed my cat!" You panicked.

He looked absolutely shocked that, that was the reason you were all up in haywire the moment you woke up. First thing after being shot was worrying about a damn house cat. The detective lowers his head laughing much to your dismay.

"A fucking cat, holy shit (Y/N) really?"

You heave a sigh trying to calm down to not call in more doctors. "He's all I have left."

Hank nods and ruffles your hair. "It's fine, Connor took care of feeding your pet for you. I'd mentioned it the night of the incident on the way back to the station. He offered to take care of him for you." 

It was like magic that all the stress had left your shoulder when hearing that alone. "Oh..well tell him I said thank you." 

"Tell who?" Speak of the devil. Connor had walked in carrying a can of cold juice in one hand and a hot coffee in the other hand. "It's good to see you awake, (Y/N)." He handed you the cold juice much to your curious tilt of the head. "It's best to drink something when you first wake up, you haven't used your voice in some time."

What a sweet bean. 

You did as told and drank a bit while the nurse retells the information to Hank who was also the person taking care of all your medical papers. Once she left you set the juice aside having felt like you forgot something. 

"(Y/N), may I ask a personal question?" The android pipped up.

There was no reason why not. "Alright shoot Connor." He looked confused and tilted his head which looked like the most adorable puppy. Your heart felt strange for the first time in years. Must be old dead emotions flickering as an aftereffect of that deal with the devil. 

"I've been curious what that tattoo around your neck means. Is it a choker?" He asked stepping closer to examine it. 

Before the monitors could start beeping loudly again you ripped the cords off your body as you quickly felt for the scarf that normally hides said mark. "Fuck..they took it off." 

"Yeah, I've wondered why you always wore a scarf at work." It was Hank who spoke this time now examining the black mark around your throat. "What's that about? Some fashion sense you young kids do?" 

Connor blinked several times. "Lieutenant, (Y/N) is in her forties." He backed away looking at the android so fast so swore you heard something pop. "What the fuck did you just say?" He says. Connor repeats himself and explains while you have a mental breakdown as one by one the lies you told to cover your tracks comes undone. 

Your name was called and got your attention. 

Both were looking at you for an explanation. 

A hand rests along the mark around your throat and you felt more human right now than any other time. Around them it felt nice enough to talk about right? You barely knew Connor but he was such a sweet cinnamon roll it's hard not to like him, and Hank was your boss, and slowly becoming a stronger father figure in your life. 

"What I'm about to say doesn't leave this room. If it does...I'll have to kill you. Trust me when I say I can make it so no one asks questions." You threaten. "Reason for that is because I don't want to become some experiment in a lab."

Hank leans back in his seat with his full attention grabbed at this point so he's in for the ride. "Ya got my word."

A nod then you look towards Connor. "I need you to stop recording this so Cyberlife can't see or hear. Can you find a way so that it's not able to get to them?" Connor takes a moment to register this request, his LED circles yellow, then red signalling to you some software instability. "Yes, I can."

"Good, so...have you guys heard of demons?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was especially long but I wanted to get some more hints out the way. Once the power requested comes to light you best believe that it'll be used more often in chapters.


	4. Revolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank is smarter than you give credit for.

You tell them the meat of the reason even unbandaging your shoulder to show that there was no bullet wound, no mark that you'd ever been shot. What you skipped over was the power you'd asked for liking to keep that to yourself. "I agreed despite the costs of what it would do to my psyche, as well as my body. I know my curiosity is sick, but I just wanted to know what humanity would do."

Connor was the latest one to fascinate you in wanting to know more of what they did to make him so unique. How is he different? He acts so normal about things yet sometimes you have to be reminded that he was made only to forget all over again. "It's Connor isn't it? He's why you got this job." 

The answer was a smile. 

"I found out there was going to be an android detective sent to the DPD. Before the world tainted him I wanted to know what he was like, pick at his mind a bit. I've taken apart more technology than you could imagine, and put it back together perfectly to gain more knowledge." He flinched back to which you reel in that part of you with a sigh running a hand through your hair. "Sorry, I wouldn't ever harm you. Verbal answers work best, you're too interesting to ever think of breaking apart like some game."

Everyone in the room seemed to relax at that. "I have these moments where I feel like I'm gonna go berserk, or just slip in emotions, makes me not feel human let alone 'normal' ever. At first it was strange to be 'missing' emotions, but for them to come fleeting back at random moments." Fear was one you hadn't felt in a long time, now this fluttery feeling when looking at Connor act cute.

Your boss sighing got your attention away from the android. "So basically, a demon cat heard your wish, and you two made a deal. Your soul for immortality and one other thing, and that's why you are stuck looking like a college student?" Sums it up pretty well so his answer was a nod and thumbs up. 

He facepalmed much to your amusement. "You have got to be the most stupidest smart person I know! Why would you give up you soul to a demon? Hell what's so good about seeing technology advance? You have to watch your family die! Did you even spend time with them?" 

"It's an addiction, something in my brain just wants more of that knowledge. As for my family well.." You guys were close enough up until you had to go. "They knew I loved them before I disappeared." Cut off contact from them completely. Your sister died in the line of duty and you couldn't go to the funeral and well your brother is off somewhere with his family. "Once in a blue moon I'll shoot a text to let my brother know I'm still alive, but they can't see me." 

The fact that your parents were already dead didn't help. "I'm not okay with talking about this with who's left. They will ask questions and I'd rather less people know." 

Another emotion you hadn't felt in awhile. Deep sadness. "I'm not really human anymore guys." Hurt to admit out loud since you've been quite about this for so long. There are pro's and con's to having this wish granted and you knew that however chose this burden and pain. 

"Now you guys gonna tell me what I missed while taking my beauty sleep or are we just gonna sit here and feel bad for little (Y/N)?" You spoke after the silence became too much. It was really okay. 

Hank pats you on the back with a deep sigh. "You're a tough cookie. Alright no more questions for now, Connor and me have been having very little progress with the case." Said android perks as his name is used and adds to his partners words. "Androids that have gone deviant have a leader who made his demands on t.v. the other day. It's mostly peaceful but we can't allow this to continue." 

That wasn't what you wished to hear. 

And this probably isn't what they wanted to hear. "I'm happy for them." 

Both boys were shocked at how genuine you were saying that. "What are you saying? This will cause a revolt, a split in the order. My mission is--" Now you cut him off by holding your hand up to stop him. "I understand that much Connor." 

"Humans are boring to me sad to say that's a side effect, I don't hate them but it's what they invent that I like. At the same time I've seen androids have something about them that looked more human. You don't really think the creator of this didn't foresee the creation of androids that can learn as they go surpassing humanity." A lot to say for just waking up almost an hour ago. Speaking of which where was the doctor to discharge you?

They looked at each other and then back to you as if you'd said something familiar. "You sound like Kamski. Guy was a prick when we met him earlier, we decided to visit you right before going back to the office." 

You weren't surprised much. "Yeah, met the guy a long time ago after he made Chloe. He's the reason I don't try to get a job working with smarter folks, they get curious, figure stuff out and you never know what they're thinking." Still, it was an interesting topic to talk with him on certain stuff for that brief moment. 

He was an attractive man. Though feelings like those don't go well when everyone dies around you. Their clocks continue to tick while yours is broken, your heart beats life into what is now an immortal marionette. 

"Do I wanna ask what happened between you two?" Hank said pulling a face of disgust and leaned away to which you just laugh it off. "No no we weren't like that. He got too curious, found out something, and so I almost ripped his arm clean off. Told him I'd help him that one time and then we were done." 

"What did you help him with?" Connor questions having taken to standing there like some guard dog. It looked cute to you again, was there a way for him not to look like that all the damn time. Can your brain not fritz out? 

Nah, probably a side effect.

That's what it always is. 

As for the answer you really couldn't say. "Sorry, but I don't want to say. Let's just say I helped him get started on the right direction to where we are now." You wanted humanity to keep creating amazing things well why not paint the starting line for them to cross. 

"The revolution was bound to happen and I bet I know who the leader is. He's a sweet android sent to someone who helped me out while I had been adjusting to 'this'." You gestured to yourself and placed a hand over the mark again. It wasn't ugly by any means, just a reminder that you are missing out on certain things having gained some undesirable negative outcomes.

That demon had created a monster that now follows you in the shadows. They were a weapon, and alive. Always listening. Oh man it was hard to tame that son of a bitch but you did. Now you were dangerous, and mentally tainted as a side effect. I mean you try having an extra voice in your head and presence around and tell me it wouldn't drive you batty. 

Killing people didn't help either.

Kinda fed the crazy. Made it worse but you adjusted since you had to do what was needed to survive being stuck like this. 

"Before you ask anything more mind getting a doctor in here to check me? I hate hospitals. They find out something they shouldn't and get curious too, think they're smart. Unfortunately for them I have eyes in the shadows." That was all that's said on it as Hank volunteers needing some air while he was at it. 

One more ruffle of your hair told you that he was okay with this, you all were gonna be okay right? You can resume your job at the DPD and try to get to know Connor who you had many questions for.

Said android took Hanks empty seat where his LED you now saw was cycling yellow. He was unsure of withholding this information from Amanda, but you made them swear on it and he didn't want to see you in a lab. That's not something he wants on his conscious. 

The mission was supposed to come first.

He should tell someone so that you could be brought in for questions.

You had information vital to the investigation. 

"Connor?" 

He looked up at you still going in circles in his head which looked as if you could tell by the worried expression. You were much more open now that you had told them your secret and he liked that. When you first met there was this heavy wall up, and now it felt like it shrank. 

It was nice. 

He wouldn't tell Amanda. 

Ṣ̷̪̩͋̊͐̈́̀̈́̊̔̒͝o̷̜̔͗́̈́̀͂̆̄̀͝ͅf̶̢̡̪͔̟̲̜̩͑̀̒̌̒̚t̵̨̢̪̱̙͖̲̪͍̲̞̑̋̏̓̏̽͊̈́̒̉͘w̶̘͇͍̝͍̣̲̙̞̖̭̌͑͋͐̒̆̈́̇̌͆͐̈́͘ā̶̮̟̳̜͂̇͝r̵̹̟͉̥̺̱͎̳̪̟̘̻͛̐̿̔̽̏͜͝e̸̠̣̜̗̟̭̼̞͕͚̗̣̒̂̃̈́̄̿̓̓̂̄͐͜͠ ̴̢̤̩̝̻̠̱̝̫̺̠͛͒̌̏͛̉̊̇̈́̇̕͝I̷̦̻̥̣͋̌̒͛͋͛͂̄̓̒͐͐̚n̶̡͉͕̯̫͖͉̈͆s̷̛̬̯̰͎̔t̸̬͌̈́̉͊̈́̄ȃ̵̡̤͔̙͍͕̝̳͕́͑̊̆b̴̨̯̺̩͇̳̬̼̠͉̪̺̌̾į̶̛̰̖̮̯̟̙̖̰̆͆͌͑͒͛͂́̉̍͊ľ̶̛̛̠͕̩͓̖̙̾͌̅̔̔̿͊̑̓͜į̷̩̟̟̝̣̘͔̝͛͆̾͒̆̚̚ͅt̴̤͎͎̦̣̻̦͊̅͛̉̿̋̇̏̉͒̏͠y̴̨̝̠͎͋̐̿͑̊͘͘ͅ ̵̢̼̖̖̩͕̜̠̝̱̻͐͐̌̓̽̓̓̈͊̚

====

By the time you had gotten outside and into Hank's car you were nothing but starving. While eating didn't have to happen as much anymore you still had cravings and certain times where it was needed. 

Much more open now that you had nothing to hide you tied your scarf around your neck and pestered Hank to buy you some food. He complained naturally. "No, shit we're behind as is on getting into the office. Buy something from the vending machine there." 

You whine not liking how generic the bars and candy were, and damn you were sick of the taste of donuts after about a week of them. 

"I'm starving. I don't feel this that often and it's painful." Connor's arm was tugged from your seat in the back to get his attention. "You agree he should feed me right?" 

He took one look at you and caved. "Lieutenant I think we have time to make a stop to grab something for (Y/N). It'll only take ten minutes at most." His scans showed that you weren't lying about being starved, you should be in more pain than you are as it looks as if you didn't eat for awhile. "When was the last time you ate properly?" 

Ah, right forgot he could do that whole vitals scanning thing.

"Dunno. I mean I'll force myself to look normal but once the taste gets boring I throw stuff away. The last time I finished a full meal was a month ago probably?" 

The jerk at the forceful stop of the car had you holding onto Connors arm and seat to not go flying out the front window. Holy shit that was kinda spooky. You were about to yell at Hank when he looked at you in a way you could only describe as 'dad disappointment' oh shit..you were gonna get an ear full. 

He was upset. "A month!? Really? No wonder you look like that, you're starving yourself. From now on you're eating something every day I don't care if it's just a little." And that was the end. When you tried to tell him you can't eat a lot everyday he retorted with; "then we'll make you eat small portioned meals that way you don't get sick." 

To that you huff and sit back buckling up.

Hank laughed as he turned the corner knowing exactly what he wanted to feed you. "You're like a kid now."

You shouldn't have told them anything.

But you don't regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now they know the truth about you...you monster. Oh don't think your hands aren't dirty just because you've got a nice job. How do you think you've lived this long in the shadows?


	5. Puzzle Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamski a bitch. That's it that's the chapter.

You guys stopped off to the Chicken Feed place you'd heard so much about when it came to Hank's favorite type of food. Bad rating, trouble lurking, but decently cheap food so what more could one ask for. Not like danger scared you when you yourself were the danger to others that went bump in the night. 

"Lieutenant you know one burger is high in calories, it's not good as a first solid food for (Y/N)." Connor states following behind Hank as you wander up silently, eyes scan the area seeing that the street looked emptier than usual. Something for sure was going on around Detroit these days and you were excited.

The end will be delicious either way. 

With the streets quiet the danger wafts through the air like electricity if one were to stop and acknowledge it. To the front you see that your boss had already ordered for you not that you minded much, it would probably be gone rather fast. Anything to ease the shrinking of your stomach. 

Perks of being immortal were the lack of hunger pains, when it does catch up oh man does it really kick your butt. Tonight isn't as bad as it could be. 

"Here, I wanna see ya eat all of it." Hank nagged like the father he was much to your pleasant annoyance. "Yeah yeah, 'dad' I got it," you sassed. 

You grin heading on back to the car to eat knowing all of you had to get back to the office, well they did while you should be home resting. Not a few days ago you had a bullet in your shoulder. If the doctors noticed anything welp no one said much on the healing stuff. 

It wouldn't end well for either party to speak up let alone acknowledge such phenomenons. 

They would be dead and untraceable.

By the time you stopped spacing out the car had been started with you in the back seat. "Oh good you had snapped out of it again. I was prepared to assist in waking you from the daydreaming if need be." Connor spoke turning back forward in his seat as Hank pulls out to get back to the station. 

There was work to be done. "Where the fuck do you go when you space like that?"

Many places. "Here and there. Sometimes talking with the monster in me, other times I get lost in thoughts of technology, studying people, or overall what I plan to do next." The way places rush by as this mind wandered well...you may be lost forever in a sea no one could find you. It's scary so you try not to think about it at night when you attempt to sleep. 

The nightmares were usually awaiting if you thought too much on it, worried about them being there. Only when you showed not a care did good dreams come. 

A few bites in on the burger you all silently listen to Hank's metal music until he pulls up sharply turning it off. You all get out and head up the stiars but before he opens the door the man turns to you. "Before we go inside I wanna ask you something (Y/N)." He looks to Connor then back to you, "is there something torturing you? Haunting you? Cause sometimes you seem to look lost here and fuck if it doesn't bother me." 

Connor has noticed that too in the short time he's been able to speak with you on things, watching you, listening to your voice as you speak. The idea of something causing you pain made an odd occurrence of tightening in his filters.

He ran a diagnostics test which as usual came back saying he is find, everything was running perfectly. That's what worries him.

At first you stare at Hank, then look to Connor wondering if he had a hand in pushing your boss to ask such a question. "W-What?" As smart as you were this caught you off guard you had to take a step back from them. 

"What Lieutenant Anderson is getting at is that you look to be in pain at times your mind wanders. Other times you looked lost. Does this have to do with that thing following you?" The android elaborates. 

Such simple questions with simple answers and yet you didn't understand such a rush of emotion. An old nice emotion. People that understand, they noticed a shred of the darkness eating at you. It was maddening yet had to be accepted to tame. 

Both of them had flinched when seeing you stand there and start crying. 

They never meant to do such a thing it was on the mind often enough. "Look kid, it's fine if you don't want to answer no need for the water works." Hank places a hand on your head only making it worse as you now register more warmth in the emotion long lost. 

There was a tightening in his filters again around his chest area at seeing you cry. He wanted to do something...but what? Reach out to you who looked hurt and act. 

"No..it's fine guys. I just haven't felt this emotion in a long while." The words that were supposed to follow had been lost to you. It's nice yet melancholy. "You are right. With the power I asked for comes a price, it's maddening to keep them in control, their voice in my head, presence always around yet not."

At the same time you realize that in your lonelier days it was this eerie presence that helped you get through it. So, in a way you're grateful to the power. 

When your cat eventually dies you'll need some one to keep you company in that lonely apartment. Though the spooky thing about talking to that weapon was how gravely it's voice was as well as the threats it could toss out, but you kind of found your ways around it. 

It'll be fine.

There is still much to adjust to over the rest of your life and you had plenty of time. 

One more pat to the head and you all head inside to which you notice the look of want in Connor's eyes eliciting a flutter within your chest again. Why was he looking at you like that? Why were you reacting as such? He's supposed to get that rush out of you, the one that makes you wanna pick at the brain.

It was an addiction.

The only reason you are here is to bother Connor in feeding your addiction before moving onto the newest thing when the time comes. It's how things always went with your mind, a distraction that brought out a small bit of happiness in bursts. You'll take that over the emotion waiting to swallow you whole in the moment you forget to do this routine. 

Having missed a few days you're behind on work clearly, but Hank probably helped you out in keeping things neat so you wouldn't have a whole lot to come back to. As soon as you pass your desk it seems like your hypothesis was correct to assume as such. Everything was neat and tidy..too much so that you assumed it may have been Connor.

At the very least you'd like it to be.

All gathered at Hank's desk there was a call from the office and knowing Fowler's tone this didn't sound like a good time. "I'll wait here." 

While Hank complained on the way up you caught the glance from Connor and managed a smile to reassure him before spotting a ghost of one on his lips. He'll have to work on it. 

Now that they were gone you took the time to look around the office that's been feeding your advanced tech mind for the past month and a half at this point. If tweaked this place could probably be a cool cyber punk type place and now you couldn't help thinking about all the ways to get that to work. 

Outfits would have to be changed as well for the cops, what would fit everyone? Like a game one by one you looked around daydreaming about how that'd work. When was the last time you binge played a game with that theme? Probably should replay Cyberpunk 2077 for the Switch you've got stored away somewhere or maybe it's short sequel.

Eyes that fell on Gavin finally having subconsciously avoided adding him into the video game world that is your mind, had left you with an odd sense of annoyance at the memory of him being a prick. What surprised you though was that he'd just met your glance and waved before going back to work. 

Something has defiantly happened in your absence. 

Now you wanted to know more details as if something was being hidden away. It's fine you're not all that into diving too deep to get the answers wanted however it'd probably been looked over due to the fact that you were shot, and an immortal freak who has mental conversations with her shadow. 

Wow you're weird.

Not so human anymore are you freak?

Upset at your mental battle you decided a new distraction was needed. Another game had been randomly thought up to give you some sort of emotion close to nostalgia as your name was called several times.

A few blinks had woken you up as you turn in the chair to face Hank who looked grumpy and Connor who's sitting on the end of the Lieutenants desk. "Hm? Did I miss something?" 

"You were spaced out again and looked to be upset. I detected a raise in stress so tried calling you a few times." He didn't have to really constantly monitor your state having begun to understand small tails you had to show which state you were in. For a brief moment he saw your eyes glaze over with some showing a strange longing. You were sad about something. "We were told we're taken off the case, it's the FBI's now." 

That alone got your attention back in the present as you lean over some scooting the chair to better shrink the circle of three you all were in. "That's bullshit and we all know it. You guys are the best, and clearly Connor was made for this kind of shit. Those guys will be too late to do anything but start a new war." Humans were so stupid sometimes in the face of the unknown it's physically starting to become painful. 

But couldn't the same be said for you? On the opposite end wasn't it horrible for you to have been involved to the point all that mattered were the numbers. All you needed was to push humanity further. 

The two of them grew quiet not really helping the defeated mood of gloom surfacing among you all. Connor was first to speak sounding rather frustrated. "We can't just give up like that. I know we could have solved this case." 

Hank leans back in his chair turning finally to face you guys to continue the topic. "So you going back to Cyberlife?" 

"I have no choice...I'll be deactivated and examined to figure out why I failed." Your heart practically broke at that. It wasn't the outcome that's supposed to happen...this wasn't what you had intended to happen when helping Kamski that day. 

But you were selfish.

And he could keep secrets.

Hank ran a hand over his face having come to his own conclusions about what's been going on the last couple days. It's been rough. "What if we're on the wrong side? What if we're just fighting against people who want to be free?"

That was the case. It's the whole point of this having to happen, because you were selfish and wanted more to erase that empty feeling. You helped Kamski get this damn thing started and you'll be there to see the ending. Hopefully it'd be a good one.

Another new emotion was rising. You were anxious, it's beginning to feel weird that you're able to feel all this stuff again slowly, one by one making you less crazy. As long as the mark was there you'll never die and in a way you're glad. There are many down sides holy hell plenty to make this choice a regrettable one...but you still wanted to know some things.

You had tuned back in at the right time as they were talking about Kamski. 

"When you refused to kill that android at Kamski's place...you put yourself in her shoes. You showed empathy Connor." Hank looked a little proud of Connor having let some of his 'dad mode' slip out. "Empathy is a human emotion." 

The look on Connor's face told you he was thinking hard at the very least analyzing the event in question again. It was like a war inside his body that he didn't know which way to go. 

"I don't know why I did it.." He felt lost but there were some things he knew to be true. "I know there are things that haunt you, Hank. Maybe you need to find the courage to move past it get on with your life." He spoke warmly and tilts his head slightly. "Just a plastic cops opinion but...I had to say it." 

Now you felt like you were third wheeling a father-son moment. 

Then again this was really cute and you really wanted to know what the fuck happened in the time you were knocked out to change Hank so much. It had turned him from an android hating cop to one that is having a change of heart about an AI race getting their own peace. 

"Well well here comes Perkins, that motherfucker...sure don't waste any time at FBI." Hank spat with venom telling you about how that's the guy who's gonna take over their case. 

You took to staring a minute. "He's a looker." When your work dad shot you a glare you held your hands up. "I'm just saying he looks nice. I'd never go for a guy at FBI they get to curious sometimes to." When he leaned back into his chair again to huff you managed a little laugh. 

Connor felt something unpleasant stir in his regulator pumps at the knowledge you find another attractive. Must be a clog or something, he'll have to get that fixed. "You find him attractive, (Y/N)?" He asks not knowing where the sudden voice from thought came from. 

As your eyes snap up to meet his he noticed that rush of thirium pushing again as well as the look of a light blush adorning your features. It was cute. He decided he liked that look on your face and it was directed at him. You always talked to him like it was the most normal thing in the world and he appreciated that. 

S̸̠͌̾͘o̵̠̦̭͑͋f̶͔̝̃ť̵̨̺̘̘̋̃͝͠w̸͖̄͂͑ą̷̝͚̫͕̽r̸̗̱͓̥̾̈́̌͜e̶̢̥͍͈̺̍ ̷̫̣̗̥͌̕I̷̙̙̿̿n̶͚̰̫̣̎̓̽̈͐s̴͔̈̄t̴̥͉̟̖̥͂̈́͘͠a̴̟̞̱̭͐ḅ̷̬̪͝ȋ̸̻̾̔̄l̵̦̝͚̓̊̓͝i̶͇̔͂͋̌̽ṫ̷̢̫̍̑͝ͅy̶̳͗̉ ̴̘̂̉̓̀͘

It's not like you meant to stare nor did you have control half the time of your brain. "No..well--er yeah he is but I'd never try anything. I prefer guys like you Connor, easier to work with and more trustworthy." Oh shit. Well now look what you did, go on and promptly insert foot into mouth. 

Wow this is not a conversation you wanna be having now in front of a fatherly figure. Speaking of which Hank was looking at you two with an eyebrow raised like he had missed something. "Back to the case! What are you two gonna do?"

Your android friend was first to speak up. "We can't give up. I know the answer is somewhere in the evidence we collected. If Perkins takes it, it's all over." There had to be something they could do. 

"We don't have a choice you heard Fowler. We're off the case." You knew that look in Hank's eyes, he was egging Connor on, it must make him happy somewhere inside to see the emotions rushing off Connor. Despite Hank trying to fight it his partner was adamant. "If I don't solve this case, Cyberlife will destroy me. Five minutes, that's all I ask."

In the end of course he won. 

You watch as Hank shoo's you two off telling you to look out for Connor before you heard the loud 'distraction' so to speak. "Perkins! You fucking cocksucker!" Man, that looked like it hurt. "He'll be feeling that for awhile," you mumble pushing Connor off towards the evidence room so there were no distractions. 

Right as he placed his hand over the door to open it was when Gavin had come down. "Where you going?" Of course you both ignore him not having a lot of time. "Hey Connor! (Y/N)! You both heard me I said where are you going?" 

As he goes in you give a glare back to the office prick and slam the door shut or well... it was automatic but still felt good. 

By the time you made it down he was trying to figure out Hanks password. "Try fuckingpassword since this is Hank after all," you told him with a hint of laughter in your tone. 

When it goes through he pulled his hand back as the files unlock. "Obviously." 

So you knew this was serious but that was a hilarious scene to watch. It really was that password holy heck you were kidding. Managing to calm your fit of laughter you scoot over to his side and pat him on the back. "Nice work." All the evidence was pulled out and you suddenly felt bad at the ending these poor androids had to face.

First bit of evidence you touched was the tablet that held the speech of the android leader asking for peace. It might have been hard for others to tell from first glance but you knew it was Markus, and knowing that alone made you tear up having helped make him, you placed that code in his mind that gave him the free will to choose and give others the gift of choice. 

Connor had figured it better to leave you alone and made a note to ask you later what your connection in all this was. You had a role to play in this soon to be war and he needed to know. In the meantime he had need for that recording. "(Y/N), may I see that a moment?" When he saw your tears as you turn away he felt another weird flow of thirium. 

"Yeah, sorry I just need a minute. These emotions today are messing with me." After handing it off you walk off to the corner wiping your eyes. What's going on? The demon spoke about missing these types of emotions, sure they were supposed to come in short bursts like fluttering but this was too often. 

It's like relearning how to feel. 

Only you already have previous knowledge on what each emotion it but need to relive the actual thing to get it back. Wait...fucking sonofabitch that's what's happening isn't it? Your body had forgotten because it was easier to just accept and when you did feel something back then you just brushed it off as 'a part of the demons deal' and let it go. 

What if you didn't?

What if you let yourself be open to the thought of learning to be human again?

You needed to write this down, form a plan, or something. Maybe you were wrong and maybe it was crazy to think about but you wanted to try to feel any kind of normal again. Be shy, find enjoyment in anything so strongly that wasn't just the addiction to finding out how far humanity could go with technology. 

You did miss playing new games and enjoying them rather than seeing it as a puzzle to take apart to indulge in every piece of new information. Why can't fun just be fun without the crazy. 

Someone's coming!

The entity in your shadow had all but shouted sending you on high alert as you turn to see Gavin pointing a gun at Connor's head. Damn you should have been faster. 

"I've been dreamin' about this day since the first time I saw you." The hatred in his eyes, the envy in being better than him at his job was very evident. "Gavin must you intervene? We're all working towards a main cause here or are you really just pining for 'dad's' attention? Wished Hank was your partner?" You tried to make your presence known. 

Now the gun was pointed at you, good. 

"Shut up! It's so obvious you're fuckin the tin can over here and it makes me sick to even look at you!" He took the safety off telling you he was agitated and on the rise with emotions. "You're a freak, didn't think I would notice that mark under your scarf that day? Well I did some research and found out you're actually in your forties, but let's be real you don't look to be out your mid twenties." 

Fuck fuck fuck! He was digging into your files, your private ones that needed high security to ever touch. What the hell was the point in killing people to keep your cover for if it was that damn easy to get access to. 

"Found it weird so I went ahead and tried to dig deeper only to spot a file under tight lock and key. When I got in I was amazed at what was covered up." Gavin pulled the trigger shooting you in the right shoulder which you oddly found humorous considering it was like a theme now. 

The only other person in the room with you panicked and made a move to rush over to you. (Y/N)!" Without flinching you held up a hand for Connor to not move. From the corner of your eye you could see the cycling of yellow knowing he was worried about the blood leaking from the through and through shot. Gavin wasn't awful at shooting it seems. "You're some kind of monster!" He accused. 

It made you flinch at the small pain in your chest. Wow so you had feelings to hurt good to note you dislike being called that. "Dug deeper and found out your little mark there has something to do with summoning demons and other dark shit I don't even wanna know about!" He watched as the hole in your shoulder stitched itself back together till there wasn't even any sign of a bullet wound.

He's not the first to call you that.

You didn't like it, but they aren't completely wrong.

"Monsters are ugly and grotesque. I'm no monster Gavin." You spoke with an air of calm that surprised everyone. "I prefer the term little devil." 

"I don't give a fuck what you prefer you freak, and you--!" He was now pointing the gun at Connor again. "You're off the case, and this time it's definitive." Right before he could pull the trigger you use a two finger motion and pull it towards yourself watching as the shadows violently yank at Gavin's leg. He was thrown off balance slightly lowering the gun. 

Both you and Connor slid down to used the desk as a sort of short lived cover. "Are you hurt (Y/N)?" He whispered listening to Gavin's frustrated grumbles as he stomped out the goopy black shadow to get it to let go. "Yeah, kinda no way to really die." You tried once.

"I can still worry about your health despite your immortality." He comments.

You were so busy being flustered by his wording you hadn't noticed Gavin coming around on the other side. Connor grabs his wrist disarming him and giving a quick shove to the gut. Each attempt by Gavin was a fail and was honestly pathetic to watch up until the best part. Connor managed to pull him into a locked hold pressing Gavin's head on the table and with quick motion put him to sleep. 

You stepped back amazed at how this whole ordeal turned out. "If I had known he was so easy I would have just had my shadow just eat the damn gun so we could've skipped me getting shot and gotten right you being a badass." Oh well what's happened has happened. 

On the way out it was again another laugh that escaped not sure how you'd explain to Hank on why you had blood on your shirt. Out the corner of your eye you spot Connor fixing his tie while following behind. "Think Hank will notice the blood?" 

He thought about it for a second before responding almost amused. "Most likely." 

Next stop. Jericho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit going down


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you know what's gonna happen.

To say Hank noticed was an understatement but you all didn't have the kind of time to sit around and mull over nope that was a conversation for the car ride over to Hank's place. In the car you sat in the back with your arms crossed as he went into 'dad mode' lecturing you on being more careful. 

Only interrupting once with a small, "you know I'm immortal right? It wasn't going to kill me." Oh man did that make it worse. He pulled up hard outside his house and turns to look back at you in the seat pointing a finger. "I don't give a rats ass if you're immortal, or some other worldly fuckin' being. From what I gathered you don't know a damn about the full extent of your immortality bullshit so it gives me all the damn rights in the world to worry. Ya got that?" 

He wasn't wrong. You didn't know the full extent of where was safe and where it wasn't the worse that was done was you trying to slit your wrists but they healed. What if Gavin shot you in the head? Would that have done it?

No rebuttle to give to Hank you only nod. "Yeah...I'll try to be more careful. Sorry for worrying you guys." Great, now you were feeling sad, man you don't miss the negative emotions that'd been taken away. As soon as the emotion came however it'd left as usually fleeting certain ones were. 

"We should hurry before they find out you helped us Lieutenant." Connor interjects though you noticed on the way here he seemed to enjoy your long scolding. Traitor. 

You were all on agreement there and step out the car. Since he knew where the location of Jericho was now the plan had been to disguise Connor in casual clothes so he could go on ahead and walk right in. Of course you were gonna go because it's far too interesting to not. 

"This is gonna be fun," you'd muttered not realizing someone was listening. 

====

It was amazing to watch Connor work with finding his way there, the way his mind had processed where to jump and how high. You wanted to know what made that the best option for him. Was it preference or had it been a personal choice?

Not one to do hard exorcise unless needed you used the shadows to distort into steps taking it easy following after the android once he's out of sight. You were specifically told not to go and of course you never listen when that urge to gain more knowledge takes over. 

At the same time you wanted to see Markus. 

He's a good soul you knew it from the time spent with Carl, and speaking of which you needed to know how that old coot was doing. What better way than through Markus his son. 

The minute your footing was solid and you'd walked past one of the pillars to try and tail him, a hand yanked you backwards causing a sudden rise of panic. Your mind raced in how to kill them until you looked up to see doe brown eyes having realized who they belonged to.

Oh...well that's embarrassing. 

He leaned in having been more than ready to defend himself, and it was much too close for your little bubble. Words left you as his artificial breath brushed a stray strand of hair out your face as you could feel that flutter come back into fruition with a vengeance. 

His grip on your wrist didn't loosen by much as he spoke. "You were supposed to stay with Hank." 

Unable to handle the new flood of emotions you avert your gaze. "I..wanted to come along..what if you got overwhelmed?" Where did that come from? It wasn't a lie but spoken with the new emotions pouring out. 

Connor felt something in his components rush at the sight of you having felt this before, but the look on your face being a thing for him to see alone had stirred something else. He liked this feeling as well. "So you were worried about me?" What if he pressed you for more answers?

To his enjoyment you had tried to squirm out his hold like a shy animal, he felt like he towered over you and could keep you caged. There sadly wasn't any time for that and he had mercy when you tried to articulate words. His hold was released as it's switched with simply rubbing along your arm. "It's fine. I believe you can hold your own if something does happen. We're already almost there."

A little stunned when his torment stopped you watch as he walked off and quickly followed as to not be left behind. You had thought it smart to wear some warmer clothes, boots included though the scarf around your neck had been a loose one so you could breathe in case of the need to run. A part of you knew there was danger coming. 

As the two of you find the boat you smack Connor on the back. "I've got your back if you've got mind. Let's go." 

There was no question who's side you were on in this fight...it was Markus's.

====

Infiltrating the place had been a piece of cake with your shadow manipulation abilities because hell no were you going to try and parkour unless absolutely needed. You two were quiet as each step takes you in deeper, the sight of many hiding out in here made a twinge of something else enter your empty chest. A strong empathy with knowing how it feels to be an outcast. 

It was only a moment you let Connor out your sights when another android found you. She had no eyes and wires hanging out her cranium. She looked like a prophet. Your hands were taken almost motherly into hers and you didn't bother speaking feeling like a fight was going on wanting to know how she worked, was she even more advanced than the last. Her insi--no stop that's bad.

"You struggle with many demons. It's almost too painful at times to bare." She starts cutting you off from the dirty monster that claws at your mind. You were smart because of this curious want to rip technology apart and put it back together to find out how it works. If this had been something directed at a living animal you'd be deemed sick in so many ways. "Do not feel troubled."

You'd bitten your lip to hold back some of the self hate wanting to spew. "How can I not? If I'm around Connor too long who knows if that sick side may take over."

That was a worry because in that hospital room you had promised to not let your other side out. Questions should be enough to pacify the curious monster in you. How far can humanity go with technology? This was close to a peak, only a little further and then maybe you could rest. 

She grips your hands tighter. "It will be fine, you aren't alone in your battle so do not let the burden crush you. Open up and ask for help when you need it." To that she lets go and moves along leaving you with questions of your own. 

Ask for help?

How? Granted it's not like Hank and Connor don't know the whole story at this point. Connor more so after having to explain the shadow power after he'd caught on during the battle with Gavin. Would it be okay? You just didn't know and took things as they came, stayed in hiding as much as possible. 

It was then that said android had found you again. "Where did you wander off to? I found Markus." He saw the distant look in your eyes and grew worried. "What happened, (Y/N)?" 

You took a deep breath and managed a small smile. "Nothing just having a mental conversation is all. Let's go." To be safe you'd slid you hand into his and squeezed tight much to his hesitation, and when he squeezed back you felt a little flutter in your chest. 

He guided you through the boat to where Markus had been left alone. The minute he jumped out to point a gun was when you had cold feet. If you do this you'll have to explain your part in the whole thing now that you thought about it. Markus had to of noticed now that he's a deviant. 

"How could you go against your own kind? We are your people." Markus spoke taking a step closer. 

You heard the gun being cocked and stepped out to greet him, it was like a flood of new emotions had washed over. Nostalgia, and something else, like you haven't seen a good friend in a long time. It made you tear up almost instantly. "(Y/N)?...What are--why are you here?" Had been the first question from his lips. 

Connor looked confused if not betrayed when you ran over and hugged the deviant leader. He did recall you saying you had a part in this war but how big was the part he now needed to know. "How do you know Markus?" He kept his aim on the other android.

"I helped make him, at least the last parts. When I was still adjusting to being a monster Carl let me stay with them." You slowly pull away from the hug and tug off the scarf gripping the fabric tightly. "I'm the one that gave Markus the ability to 'choose' as well as the ability to give it to others. Kamski and me had come up with a theory, and a bet." This whole thing was because you wanted some payback for his smart remarks. 

Before either could interrupt you continued. "I'd found out about him making Chloe and was drunk off the idea of finding out how this advanced technology worked. Kamski noticed how I could take in any type of information and internalize it, learn and not make many if any mistakes and used that. He wanted to make a gift for his long time friend and I helped as a way to test my knowledge... but Kamski was not someone who I could hide this from." You brush a finger over the black markings around your throat. "He found out." 

The man was like a snake or at least he pretended to be one because of the way this horrid world molds one. You had to act a certain way so that you could not be taken advantage of. "He got curious about my immortality and wanted to use me as a test subject, naturally I panicked and used my power to damn near rip his arm off, but even pinned down staring death in the face he was cocky, one step ahead, and appealed to the part of my mind that was sick." Your nails scratched at the mark deeply hating that you couldn't control the interest all the time, spacing out, analyzing on how to make things go your way, the lies you had to feed people around you. 

The damn isolation and crippling darkness that being alone can give. 

Markus places a hand on your head to help you calm down. "It's okay (Y/N), you don't have to say anymore if it's too hard." 

He was such a big brother even back then you really missed the warmth. Once you left there a lot of other emotions had begun to be cut off unless you felt like drowning again. "No..it's fine." You took a deep breath and decided to finish up. "He told me that there was a way for me to get what I want. To see how far technology could be pushed and made a bet. If I could figure out how to make androids 'better' then he would hand his growing company over to me which is now Cyberlife. If he wins and I fail, then I would become his test subject." 

The idea of having all that knowledge and not being disturbed was too delicious to not pass up. So, you did it. 

"By the time I'd gotten to the end of helping out with Markus I'd suddenly felt a dead emotion rise up. I realized I'd been used and studied regardless and that made me upset, and then angry." A slight laugh escaped as you think back to the days where you'd really just wanted to learn. That's all it was. "Last minute I created the ability to 'choose' which was kind of like free will, the program had the ability to grow as long as the individuate was nursed properly."

The marks along your neck had healed so when looking up at Markus you felt no pain, then again you rarely do. "I won the bet, and I want to go collect Cyberlife when all this is done." It'll be yours legally. Kamski was no fool and had been serious so you all got the appropriate documents signed, it was locked away where no one would be able to touch it until the right time.

With that said and done you look to Connor having been avoiding the initial hesitation behind his expression, there was pain. "I'm sorry I didn't want you to hate me if I told. This was planned, androids were always going to be a new lifeforms in itself, so how could I not push for something like freedom?"

Kamski probably knew this would happen which was why he'd been testing you. All this time waiting to see where your mind would lead them in the future. Demon or not you'd achieved something he could not, immortality. A flower that will never wilt yet wasn't built. 

By that logic Connor had to take you in as well. He had a mission to accomplish but inside he couldn't do it, he knew he couldn't because he cared too much. The image of your expressions ever changing since the hospital visit had come to mind, you had opened up to him and Hank becoming someone that in so short time belonged. 

Š̴͙͙̺̰̓͗̓ŏ̴̡̨̰͈̹̍̾͝f̷͓̳̌̊͑̇͊ͅt̸̞̑̀̑͜w̵̛͚̝̍͐̋̏̇a̴̰̮̓̀ŗ̶̰̥̟̫̮̏̃̓͛ĕ̷̦͔̲ ̶̱̰̏̅̎̃͜I̵̟̩̝̓͂͗n̴̝̯̹͚̺̈́͘ͅs̷̜̆̋̚t̶̲͖̼̂̎̐̅̄ạ̶͇̫̱̽̅̽̈̓b̴͇̘̳̭̼̼̌͊̃͝ĭ̶͓̌̀ḷ̵̛̫͙͂į̶̡͖̒͗̿̑̓͌ţ̴̹͍̓͘͜ȳ̴͓̝͖͒̍ ̶̢̞̉̒̉͝

He couldn't pull the trigger. 

You watched as he fought against something seeing his LED flash from yellow to red, then eventually a calm blue as he lowers the gun. "They've found us!" Well congrats on deviating that's not what you wanted to hear. 

"What?" Markus spoke up ushering you towards the door having a bad feeling. 

Connor took your hand lightly yanking you towards him. "We've got to get everyone out! They used me to find Jericho!" Now you had to run. 

Sounds of doors being broken in and guns going off alert you to shove down any fleeting emotions that might hold you back and focus on getting out. You all have to get to safety. That's the new mission. 

And you won't fail. 

Markus split from you two to probably try and help as many of his people as he could. You took to following Connor as far as possible though when confronted by two men you released his hand to step forward. Guns pointed at you ready to fire without hesitation. 

They tried. Without flinching you ushered a wall of distortion to catch each bullet till it got quiet having blinked out of sight and returning in close range for combat. The blade from that corrupted scythe took it's form as it cut through the humans like butter feeding on the blood as it went. The fight was quick but not over. "Let's keep going!" 

It was shouting in your head where to go. Eyes everywhere thanks to the shadows of this place you knew where to meet up with the others. "Who is she?" A female android asks with venom eyeing you who held a weapon. 

A roll of the eyes was given. "Names (Y/N), I'm here with Connor to help you guys." Hearing footsteps approaching you all as a group got to running now that those who cold make it had left. 

"So you're dating the android hunter?" The female had asked not so nicely. 

"North!" A blonde android spoke up as the others managed a humored laugh. Yeah glad they found humor in this. 

You groan shooting ahead to twist your body sideways in chopping the human down. Unlike them who were peaceful, you are a monster. That's how it's always been since this mark. "Think what you like about us, I'm not leaving his side." The sound of your scythe cutting through air to halt at your side silences them.

By the time you all made it to the hole where nothing but frigid water lay beneath you'd been cursing in your head about how uncomfortable this was gonna be. You can't die but the cold water will hurt. As soon as you put the weapon away back inside the shadows was when a bullet had found it's home again in your shoulder.

"What the hell! Why always this shoulder? Is that everyone's favorite place to shoot little ol' (Y/N)?" How can you not complain after this. Markus had placed a hand on the wound to help stop the blood from spilling but you gently push his hand away. "It's fine I'll heal remember?" 

Right, people still worried. There are others that don't like to see you covered in wounds or blood despite them not being fatal. Wow that prophet was right. 

By the exit again you wait for Connor to take out the men and felt apart of yourself swoon at how smooth he made it look. Fuck hating your lost emotions this one was a nice new addition. Smiling at death was probably weird but that was cool. A hand was held out to him which was taken without hesitation as you all run out into the freezing weather and jump. 

All of you escaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a slow burn? Yes. Because it is taking so long for a relationship this might be longer than some of my usual books by just a few chapters. I really wanna make the 'moment' a pretty satisfying one then probably a 'what happens after' type scenario. I won't just end it right where the game did...maybe.


End file.
